Self Motivation Tips: How to Improve Your Self-Esteem ?
Self-esteem is all about how much we feel valued, loved, accepted, and thought well of by others — and how much we value, love, and accept ourselves. People with healthy self-esteem are able to feel good about themselves, appreciate their own worth, and take pride in their abilities, skills, and accomplishments. People with low self-esteem may feel as if no one will like them or accept them or that they can’t do well in anything.
Here are a few tips that can improve self-esteem and to change a negative perception of oneself into a positive one.
- Build up your self-esteem
Make a list of strengths and positive attributes
Sit down with a pen and paper and list all the strengths that you have as well as all the positive things that you can say about yourself. This could include skills that you may have or attributes that you possess.
Include in this list all the positive things that you have ever heard people say about you.
These do not need to be things with which you necessarily agree. For example, if someone has told you that you have attractive handwriting, but you don’t agree -include it on the list. After all, the opinions of others are just as valid as yours, aren’t they?
It is also a good idea to go to close friends, colleagues, and relatives and ask them to name three positive things about you – include these on the list as well.
Take a few days to do this exercise. You will be surprised at what you will come up with! Some people find it hard to make a list of positive things about themselves. If this happens to you, it probably has its root in your childhood. Many people are taught that it is conceited and ‘bad’ to say anything positive about themselves. If it makes you uncomfortable to write down complementary things about yourself, there is all the more reason to work at it. Do it even if it makes you feel uncomfortable.
2.Learn to accept compliments
Are you the sort of person who feels awkward when other people compliment you? Do you find it difficult to know what to say in response to a compliment?
If you are, begin to practice receiving compliments graciously. If some one compliments you, say ‘Thank you’ and smile at them. Do not try and discredit the other person’s words by pointing out negative things about yourself (’It’s just an old dress’, ‘I was just lucky’, ‘I usually mess up’) Receive the compliment and learn to take pleasure in it. This may be difficult at first, but if you practice it will become easier.
If you allow other people to compliment you, you will help yourself to feel more positive and may even begin to like yourself more.
3.Pay more attention to the other person than to yourself.
Are you responding to what may be going on in his or her life? Don’t filter out bad news. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Be caring.
4. Stop apologizing!
Are you always saying ‘I’m sorry’? People with low self-esteem often have a habit of apologizing for themselves all the time. If they meet someone in a passage, they say ‘I’m sorry’. If they want to speak to someone, they say ‘I’m sorry’. Whenever they have to get someone’s attention, they say ‘I’m sorry’. Sorry for what? For existing?
Stop apologizing and recognize that you have a right to be around and to be heard. Instead of saying ‘I’m sorry’ all the time, begin smiling at people – it is much more positive!
5.Try new things
If your self-esteem is low, the chances are that you avoid trying new things and meeting new people. This only reinforces your negative perception of yourself. What you need to do is to provide yourself with the opportunity to experience success and pleasure in what you do. This will increase your self-esteem and will make you more confident to try even more new things.
So take up a new hobby, begin a sport, sign up for gym membership or join a hiking club or dance class. Do things that you have never done before like go for a massage or a facial. Buy a cookbook and try out new recipes. Invite some friends around for dinner. The list is endless!
6.Be proactive. Take the initiative. Be decisive. Let the other person know exactly how he or she can help you. Proactive people tent to be more successful in their career. Treat yourself with respect and consideration
7.Smile at other people and look them in the eye.
People who lack confidence often avoid eye contact and spend their time looking down at the ground.
Stop looking down! Look up and greet people. Look them in the eye and smile. Say ‘Hi!’ Most people will smile back and the friendly response will feel good. This may seem like a small thing, but it will also help you to feel more positive about yourself.
8.Be aware of your body language
Stand up straight! Put your shoulders back and your head up. Posture plays a more important role than we realize in how we feel about ourselves. Stooping and making your body less noticeable is a subconscious way of communicating that you are not worthy to take up space in your surroundings and conveys a message of subjugation
and humility to others – an ‘I’m not good enough’ message.
Help yourself to feel better and more confident by standing straight and tall!
9. Start monitoring how you think about yourself
If you have a lot of negative thoughts about yourself and what you do, these negative thoughts can become self-reinforcing. When you catch a negative thought, stop yourself and change it into a positive one.
10. Set clear goals for yourself before every interaction. Know what you want. Think about how the people you will be meeting can help you reach those goals. Then decide how to approach each person accordingly. Apply this regularly and you will notice a difference.
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nice post. I liked the first part. Also I agree on stopping the apologizing part because sometimes people do this too much. Its irritating to others too. A negative reacton can then lead to a blow in self-esteem which is what you should avoid by not doing it. I think we should let the things to be normal as it is the perfect way to enjoy them.
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