First 10 Red Flags in Your Marriage
Posted on February 1, 2008
Filed Under Life, Family
It is human nature to ignore the problems we are having at house. However, marriage problems will only get worse if they are not identified and dealt with.
Each marriage relationship is unique, but there are general warning signs and red flags that indicate troubles in the marriage.
Here are a few of the more common warning signs of a troubled marriage:
- 1. Communication - The communication is cut off. There are minor fights that
sometimes blow out of proportion and lead to a temporary cut of communication between the couple. In the end, this lack of communication makes up for greater and more blown-out problems.
- 2. You are the last to know. Is your partner no longer sharing information with you about his career, personal problems or personal achievements? Is your partner sharing this information with a friends and family and you hear it second hand? When you become the last to know important information there has been a huge breakdown in communication
- 3. Looking for distractions. If the buzz of your household television becomes constant, there may be a problem. It is common for individuals to overwhelm themselves with distractions (television, books, model building in the basement) to avoid dealing with a troubled marriage.
- 4. The fights become more and more persistent and the frequency starts to grow. If a couple has one little petty fight within a week that is normal. Three times a week would be troublesome. Everyday would be problematic, and every hour would surely end in disaster.
- 5. Decrease in sexual passion. There is a natural diminishing of passion that occurs in every relationship, but what we are talking about here is something else. While stress, fatigue and other pressures can creep between the sheets, there is no place for anger. When you find yourself shut down to your partner’s advances, it is time to pay attention.
- 6. Less time spent together. When is enough time together sufficient? Well, that
depends a lot on your needs. Finding the equilibrium between love, responsibility and other demands creates a continuous juggling act. We all experience that. But an abrupt shift in shared time patterns could be a warning sign that something is out of whack. Too much separation and not enough shared activities can create a void, making intimacy difficult to experience.
- 7. Too much analysis. Do you feel like your each action is being watched and criticized by your partner? Can you do no right in their eyes? Too often partners will funnel larger relationship issues into negative criticism of day-to-day tasks.
- 8. Acting like strangers. Do you and your partner spend hours together under the same roof, at social engagements or performing routine errands, yet rarely engage in meaningful conversation? Existing in silence is a primary symptom of major marital problems.
- 9. A change in appearance. Over time, your comfort level will inevitably end that desire to look “perfect” for every encounter with your partner. However, a drastic decline in personal appearance and hygiene by your spouse could be a sign of they no longer care or, are happy in the marriage.
- 10. Depending on others. Depending on friends and relatives and not able to bear the spouse’s presence. Involving friends and family in mediating issues which seems to be irreconcilable by the couple.
Many marriages that go through trouble times can be rebuilt. If both you and your spouse are ready to participate in rebuilding your marriage, the chances of your ending up happily married to each other are high. However, if only one of you wants to work on the marriage and your partner has given up, it may not be a hopeless situation. Sometimes you have to take the first step, and be the first to change and save your marriage.
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Bravo! Great post. Stuff like that tends to happen from time to time. The saying that “Love needs to be cared for and nurtured throughout your life” is true and your article shows this clearly.
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