10 Ways to Make Real Friends
Posted on February 15, 2008
Filed Under Communication, Life
Spending time with oneself in some fruitful introspection is something that many people want for, but unhappily do not find time for the same. When this solitude becomes loneliness, it can get problematic. Finding original friends is not at all hard provided you hold an available psyche and be sure of yourself. Always remember that tomorrow’s friends are in fact today’s strangers. So if you are looking for tips for making new friends, read further tips.
We take some ideas and suggestions for how to have real friends:
- - Look accessible. You need not dress up in dandy clothes or wear loud make up
to attract people. More than artificial make up, simplicity attracts people. Smile often, make eye contact, do not look too tensed and listen to what others have to say. - - Accept people the way they are. Unneeded faultfinding, critically analyzing each individual will not work if you want to make new friends. No one is perfect; you are not either. Everyone has faults and the way to make friends is by looking at the positive aspects of the individual. In case you do not like someone’s behavior, it is better to avoid than create a rivalry.
- - Create your own opportunities. For example: begin a neighborhood weekly or monthly potluck meal; join or organize a walking club; volunteer to help with a local organization; organize a discussion group on literature,religion, or politics; get a dog and take it for walks; teach someone a hobby or skill, (woodworking, needlework, etc.)
- - Involved at church. Church’s have charity drives, after school programs, bible studies, and even groups focused for singles, and singles with children. If you aren’t religious, look at what classes are being offered at your community center. Take a salsa class, a cake decorating class, or a real estate class.
- - Volunteer. Volunteering is a great way for people of all ages to meet others. By working together you build bonds with people, you could maybe even join girl scouts, or cub scouts because you’ll be doing charity work and also making friends that way, the fact that you’re devoting your time to something free of charge shows that you’re compassionate and unselfish, two traits of good friends.
- - Get online. In general, the internet is not a great place to make real friends, the kind who will be there for you when you really need them. Never use the internet to meet some one you now will consider your “best friend”. You do not know this person and making them your best friend will not do anything good in your life. If you live in an isolated place, the internet can also help you find other people around the world that share your interests.
- - Be nice to others. Always give compliments, but do not try too hard. If you are
shy, take a deep breath and risk it - you never know what might happen. Also, crack a joke every occasionally. Again, if you are shy on the outside but a little crazy on the inside, let it out occasionally. Wear your hair up high and spin around or dance. Others will laugh and find you fun and funny to be with. - - Be a good listener. Many people think that in order to be seen as “friend material” they have to appear very interesting. Far more important than this, however, is the ability to show that you’re interested in others. Listen carefully to what people say, remember important details about them (their names, their likes and dislikes), ask questions about their interests, and just take the time to learn more about them. People love to talk about themselves, and the easiest way to be likeable is to listen. You do not want to be the guy or girl that always has a better story than anyone else or that changes the subject abruptly instead of continuing the flow of conversation. These people appear too wrapped up in themselves to be good friends.
- - Be interesting, not boring. If you are in a new town where you do not know a soul, keep up with your interests wherever you can. When you do finally meet some new people, you will have something other than soap operas to talk about. It will make conversations more interesting if you can talk about something current, such as the latest film or gig you went to.
- - Be patient. Building up a good social life takes time so stick with it. It may take a while before you get a chance to meet some people you are compatible with. After that, it may be a few months before you are consistently hanging around with each other. It may be a year or more before you feel like you are really, really friends with them. It takes time to go from having no plans, to having plans with the same person every other weekend, to having plans with a variety of people three times a week.
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