10 Big Lessons for Little Kids: How to be a Positive Parenting in Your Family
Posted on April 10, 2008
Filed Under Life, Family
A “positive parent” is a loving, understanding, reasonable and protective teacher and model. Each of these words holds special meaning.
Being a parent can feel like a cross between a prison warden and a traffic cop. We say, “”no”" and “”don’t”" to our kids so often, is it any wonder they say it right back to us?
Here are 10 ways to be a positive parenting in your family:
1. A positive parent is loving. Give Unconditional Love.
Research clearly shows that parents must be warm and nurturing, and show unconditional love for their children to flourish. This kind of love is based on listening for and responding sensitively to each child has needs and showing empathy with and respect for each child.
2. A positive parent set consistent limits. Be clear and consistent when disciplining your child. Model the behavior that you expect from him. He or she sets and communicates clear limits and expectations and constructs consequences for irresponsible behaviour that are natural and reasonable, but not punitive. A positive parent is reasonable when she or he sets and communicates clear limits and expectations .
3. A positive parent is a perfect model. Infants and young children are imitators, frequently looking to their parents for guidance in how to handle life’s challenges. To be a perfect model, parents must know themselves, regarding their emotions, values and beliefs, and how they appear to others in the family, on the job and in their community.
4. A positive parent is a good listener. Look into children’s eyes when they are talking to you. Ask children about their opinions. Respond without judging. Remember the importance of non-verbal communication, and be sure to hold a child for comfort or to share smiles and hugs.
5. A positive parent is protective. Because children are so helpless, they need adults to give a safe and secure support. To be protective parents must be actively involved with every child and provide not only a physically safe environment, but also an emotionally safe atmosphere where children can experiment with emotions, relationships and ideas.
6. A positive parent does it time for your children. Get up 10 minutes earlier in
the morning so you can eat breakfast with your child, or leave the dishes in the sink and take a walk after dinner. Children who are not getting the attention they want from their parents often act out or misbehave because they are assured of being noticed that way.
Do not feel guilty if you’re a working parent. It is the many little things you do with your child - making popcorn, playing cards, window shopping - that he or she will remember.
7. A positive parent is a good teacher. Teach your child right from wrong. A child’s understanding of right and wrong develops slowly, from within. Actively teach your children a code of moral conduct and lay the groundwork for them to develop their own moral guide. Positive parents offer each child choices and encourage children to learn to solve problems and make decisions.
8. A positive parent does from communication a priority. Children want and merit explanations as much as adults do. If we do not take time to explain, children will begin to wonder about our values and motives and whether they have any basis. Parents who reason with their children allow them to understand and learn in a nonjudgmental way.
9. A positive parent is flexible. As your child moves toward independence, try not to become harsh in your parenting. This will only set the stage for arguments and power struggles. Save these types of discussions for important topics such as curfews, choice of friends, and safety issues such as driving. Be flexible on day-to-day decisions that you are willing to give up some control over, such as your teen’s choice of hairstyle, and how clean or dirty their room is. Realize that your teen simply wants to try out new ideas that may be separate and different from your ideas.
10. A positive parent understand the value of play. Play is a child’s work. Play is critical to all aspects of a child’s development, but is often overlooked as a valuable tool. Play can prevent discipline problems, offers a natural way for children to learn, and is essential in the formation of a positive relationship between parent and child..
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2 Responses to “10 Big Lessons for Little Kids: How to be a Positive Parenting in Your Family”
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Hi Andi, I read the book Speed of Trust right now, and there is one point about parenting I learn from there. That is “trusting their children” Instead of focus on the activity you ask them to do, focus on the result, and makes them responsible for the result. That will help them to be responsible in their life in the future as well.
I’m not a parent, so I’m looking from the perspective of a growing child, and I really see that it’s important. To teach a child to be responsible. Fortunately for me, my life after away from my family taught me how to be independent and responsible with my own life.
Great article!
Robert
#10 is incredibly important in parenting, from the kid’s perspective, but can’t be overused. A strong sense of discipline must be instilled in the child as well. This can be done through play though if you introduce your child early on to acitivites that require discipline, such as sports.
Enjoyed the post-
Max Norman
http://www.askthekid.org